How to Handle Donor “Ghosting” After a Major Gift Ask

Father Michael had seen it all before. A generous donor seemed enthusiastic, nodding along, asking great questions, and even mentioning how much they admired the campus ministry's mission.

Then came the ask.

The donor smiled, said they’d think about it, and promised to follow up soon. Weeks passed. No response. Emails went unanswered. Calls went to voicemail. Had they disappeared into thin air?

If you’ve been in fundraising long enough, you’ve likely had your own version of this story. A prospect shows interest, but after a major gift ask, they vanish without a clear answer.

Don’t take it personally—people get busy, hesitate, or just aren’t sure how to say no.

The key is knowing how to follow up in a way that keeps the relationship intact and the conversation moving forward. Here’s how to do it.

For downloadable sample scripts to go with each of these steps, see the end of this article.

Step 1: The Immediate Follow-Up

Within 48 hours of your ask, send a thank-you email or handwritten note. Express gratitude for their time and interest, reinforce a key point from your discussion, and gently remind them that you’re available for any questions. Keep it short, warm, and professional.

Step 2: The First Nudge (Week 2)

When the prospect did not give you an immediate answer in the meeting, you should have kept the ball in your own court by suggesting that you would check back in with them to follow up on a certain day. Often, that check-in is a week or two after the ask.

Keep that commitment, and call on the day you said you would.

A phone call is best. Keep the tone natural and pressure-free.

This keeps you top of mind without making them feel cornered.

Step 3: The Soft Reminder (Week 4 or 5)

If you still haven’t heard back, send another message with a reason for reaching out. An email works well for this check in.

Share an update about the program they were considering supporting, or an impact story related to their interests.

This approach keeps the conversation donor-focused, showing them how their gift could make a tangible impact.

Step 4: The Final Attempt (Week 6-8)

At this point, if they’re still unresponsive, it’s time for one last attempt. If they prefer text messages, social media, or handwritten notes, consider switching up your method.

If they still don’t respond, it’s time to respect the silence.

Step 5: Let It Rest (For Now)

Not every ask turns into a gift right away. If you’ve followed up thoughtfully and still hear nothing, it’s best to step back.

Keep them on your stewardship list, invite them to events, and send updates, but let the major gift ask rest.

Some prospects need more time, and some might say yes later when circumstances change.

A few months down the road, a simple check-in can re-open the conversation.

Key Takeaways

Stay patient. Silence doesn’t always mean no.
Be persistent but not pushy. Keep the door open, but don’t chase them down.
Make follow-ups meaningful. Provide updates and reminders of their potential impact.
Know when to step back. If they’re not responding, maintain the relationship in other ways.

Ghosting happens, even in fundraising, but with the right approach you can keep relationships warm and lay the groundwork for future generosity.

Stay positive, keep moving forward, and trust that the right doors will open at the right time.

Would you like our downloadable resource with follow-up timelines and scripts? If so, please click HERE to access this tool!

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